Celebrating turning 50 with life lessons that matter most
You can't connect the dots looking forward ~Steve jobs
Not every birthday is a huge milestone.
But this one is. Not just because of the age, but because it gave me a reason to look back and appreciate the journey to here and now.
I remember when I was turning 25 and I was shocked that I was still alive and hadn't died, yet. I'll just say the first 25 years of my life were filled with struggle, suffering, battles I didn't cause, and events that most people don't experience in a lifetime. But there I was. Still alive. At the time I figured I better start living with intention or life would keep handing me whatever anyone else wanted to dole out to me.
So I made a promise to myself. I promised that I would become a positive contributing member of society regardless of what had happened to me. And with that, a new life unfolded. No goals, just an intention to act as a constant compass as I made decisions about life moving forward. Goals were measured if they fit the intention.
Now, here I am at 50.
Ready for the next phase of the journey. New intention.
Help others be positive contributing members of society. AND, do it with more purpose and clarity than I did before. Every goal is still measured against the baseline intention. Does this fit? Will this move us forward on this mission? Can we measure an emotional gain from living this way? If the answer is yes - then the goal fits and the actions are aligned to allow the plan to unfold.
Before I share the plan forward, here's my look back at some of the valuable lessons I've learned. These I will take forward with me.
Feel free to take from the list and add to your library of lessons to live by.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff because it’s all small stuff
- Relatives and family are not the same
- Choices are a powerful tool that you own that no one else can completely control. In any situation you always have the choice of how you feel, how you want to feel, and your beliefs. Learn this and there’s nothing you can’t conquer.
- Don’t steal, cheat, and lie….to others AND most importantly to yourself
- If it’s to be, it’s up to me
- Most people need you to be okay quickly so they don’t have to feel their own discomfort
- You don’t know what you don’t know - until you suddenly see it, and now you can never un-know it
- Mistakes are the greatest moments of learning
- People please can be an amazing talent and a painful habit
- What you focus on expands. If you keep focusing on the problem, it gets bigger. If you focus on opportunities and solutions, they become brighter.
- Words carry more weight than you know
- You can be in a room filled with people and feel completely invisible
- Time management is a myth. We can’t manage time, we can only manage ourselves and how we use it.
- We can change whenever we want to. It’s not wanting to change that matters, it’s being damn good and ready with a not going back attitude that tips the scales
- Spending time alone is a healing experience
- Tell the committee in your head that you’re the CEO of your life
- Everything you knew about how life works you learned by the time you were 8 years old. The real awakening is learning how to tap into your own internal systems and undo all the crappy programs everyone else handed down before you even had a chance to live life.
- When you change the way you see things - the things you see change. Thank you Jim Rohn
- Forgiveness is not for the other person. It’s the choice you’ve made to stop carrying the weight of the pain for everyone involved.
- What you say and do is amplified by how you do it.
- If you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room
- We’re all part of a “too much” club that bothers other people - those aren’t your people
- We set boundaries not by what we say, but by what we do
- Life is a series of peaks and valleys. You’ll never stay at the top peak because you’ll want to see what’s over the next peak. Which means you have to walk back down into the valley.
- You can’t control the external world, you can only control your own inner world.
- Be ok where you are long enough to savor the moment. Be hungry enough to create more moments to savor.
- The world will tell you the things you need to do in order to be safe (job, marriage, money, education) - it’s up to you find your own happiness.
- People come into your life for reasons or seasons. Don’t confuse loyalty with guilt to stay in a season longer than necessary.
- True leadership is seeing the org chart flipped upside down and inside out.
- Everyone is fighting an internal battle while trying keep it hidden away from the world, yet secretly longing for someone to speak their pain and show them how to move into the light.
- Most people are unaware of the inner tug-o-war battle of instinct versus human spirit playing out in day to day life.
- High functioning anxiety is most common in people who are certain they don’t have it.
- Your heart will leap and your mind will shut it down. When the heart and mind become allies working toward the same vision, nothing is impossible.
- Intention eats goals for breakfast.
- You’ll stop learning the hard way when you’re ready to see the lesson.
- Resilience, flexibility, and adaptability are life skills that trump all.
- Empathy is a winning skill for building relationships and trust.
- No one can judge us more harshly than we judge ourselves.
- We are all born with perfect minds and hearts (open, alive, peaceful) but conditioned differently.
- An anxious person is constantly seeking their life purpose, a peaceful person is focused on living it.
- Words change minds - choose them wisely.
- I love you Albert Einstein - We can’t solve problems with the same thinking that created them
- We seem to focus on fixing our flaws (see lesson #10). When we double own on our unique strengths and talents the flaws don’t matter so much
- Yoda was right - there is no try. There is only do or not do
- No makes way for easy yes.
- The best time to create change is when you’re damn good and ready.
- No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.
- Most people are getting the 80/20 rule wrong. People who struggle focus on the 80 while successful people focus on the 20.
- Now is the most important moment. Right now. Not last year and not 5 years from now. Right now you decide how it all happens in this moment, in doing so you create a response that opens the path to momentum for going forward.
- Daily mantra - I’m here now and I am at peace within this moment. I love where I’ve come from and I’m ecstatic about where I’m going next.
Want to stop a particular life lesson that keeps plaguing you and create a new way of running your life, your relationships, your business (they are are interrelated in case you weren't aware)? Set up a phone call and we can explore an opportunity to work together.
Just so you know - I don't work with everyone. Simply, because not everyone is truly ready. I know how to get results and make change. But you'll need to be dedicated to Rules #5 & #46 👆 on the list and invested in moving yourself into Rule #48.
Think you're ready? Let's find out!
-To your success ~Aundrea