There’s a new kind of hangover epidemic, and Wow was I shocked to find myself sitting in the middle of it. Deep, deep, deep in the middle of it.
So, what’s this new hangover epidemic you ask? First let me share with you the eye opening experience that led me to this awareness.
I’m a goal oriented, go getter, independent, take charge of my life kind of girl (or woman). I love accomplishing goals, solving problems, making change happen. It’s my zone of genius if you like. The place where I find myself feeling strong and confident.
So of course, throughout my life and career I’m constantly learning something new, taking on a new challenge. I want a promotion – bam – get the promotion. I want to work on a big visible project with lots of moving pieces, cross functional teams, difficult stakeholders, massive budgets – bam! I’m on it and we deliver!
Being a Project Manager by trade made it easy to find a new challenge to solve, a new team to ignite, and a new business challenge to find the right technology to implement and create astonishing results.
Then moving into leadership roles, it became even bigger and better. Teams, team challenges, people to coach and support. Bigger, better, bigger, better…. Get the idea?
And the pattern continued. Challenge accepted and results delivered. Over and over and over again.
So where does the hangover part come into play?
You see, one day out of the blue, I was standing in my home watching my family and I couldn’t figure out why I was having a deep feeling of frustration. I mean, I literally was looking at a scene most people dream of having in their life with kids playing, a husband who’s unbelievably focused on me, a wonderful home in a great community….All the pieces of success in place.
And yet, I couldn’t focus on the beauty of it all because the volume of dissatisfaction was so loud in my head.
I was shocked to find myself having repeating thoughts of negativity. Thoughts like…”yeah, but I haven’t done xyz…” “I’m not helping my kids enough” “My house isn’t clean enough” “My income isn’t providing enough”… Every thought I held when I looked around my life went like this – “I have xyz…and this is so great…but…..it’s not enough.”
And ultimately, I was feeling not enough.
I’m not a negative person so what the heck is wrong with me??!!
And then it hit me….I have Achievement hangover.
I expected after every achievement, accomplishment, project delivered, goal met – that I’d magically be happy and feel fulfilled and finally tell myself that this is what I’d been working for! I just knew that when I got that next title, raise, promotion, moved to the right city, lived in the right neighborhood, and had the right amount of money in my bank account that all of the pieces would fall into place and I’d love my life.
Time to celebrate, right? Wrong.
Instead of celebrating, I’d make excuses that somehow it happened too easily, or I didn’t check all the boxes, or that I didn’t hit the magnitude of success according to the rest of the external world. Someone else was already doing it, living it, and they were doing it better.
Instead of celebrating, I’d find all the flaws and inadequacies hidden within every nook and cranny of my life.
Achievement hangover. Big time.
And at the root of the epidemic was a resounding message to me. It’s not because I didn’t love my life. I didn’t love myself.
Achievement hangover: When your expectations of the joy you’ll feel once you hit a goal, or the satisfaction you’ll find at the end of the accomplishment fall short leaving you feeling unfulfilled and disappointed. A pattern of constantly seeking joy from external results to fill internal voids.
Instead of celebrating how much you’ve grown you focus on the opposite and quietly whisper to yourself…’yeah, but…it’s not enough’. And you look at yourself in the mirror and say…”I’m still not enough.”
Achievement hangover = I’m not enough.
I decided that day, that enough was enough. I’d had enough of not being enough. I had to find a way to feel differently about myself.
It was me.
I was the common denominator in the whole equation and it was time for me to change and be a better version of me. Not outwardly, but internally.
I am the one who has to change.
That revelation sparked a new revolution. I swore I would find every last thought, emotion, scene, old program, and replaying record that existed within me and I would erase them, heal them, eradicate them from existence so that I could finally love me. All of me. Every part of me.
Because until I loved all of me, how could I truly appreciate the love that existed in all areas of my life and stood right in front of me?
Want the answer to Achievement hangover? You won’t find it in a pill or potion. You won’t find it in a new hair style or promotion at work. You won’t find it anywhere in the external world.
The answer is an internal journey.
It’s the most amazing journey I’ve ever undertaken in my life. It’s changed my heart, my mind, my soul. And in turn, it’s completely changed the world around me and the people in my world. All for the better and in ways I never could have known or projected.
If you’ve had enough of Achievement hangover, then it’s time for your journey. Are you ready?
If you’re feeling courageously called, schedule time to see if you’re a fit to work with me here. —> http://bit.ly/BegintheShift